


Alas! Atlas Shenanigans!

by PunkInPinkGlitter



Series: Prompts [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Pidge is a gremlin, she's getting back at everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 07:22:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17720690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkInPinkGlitter/pseuds/PunkInPinkGlitter
Summary: Pidge gets bored on the Atlas and runs into Coran.  Shenanigans ensue.





	Alas! Atlas Shenanigans!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this being so late. I'm [wolf-in-a-suit's](https://wolf-in-a-suit.tumblr.com/) pinch hitter for the pidge holiday exchange. :) I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

 

It was quiet on the Atlas.  Well, as quiet as it could be during a deployment in space.  You could hear the quiet hum of the engines (but are they really engines?), and the quiet murmur of conversations when passing open doorways.

Normally, Pidge loved quiet days.  That would mean she had time to piddle around with some new technology or play video games with someone.  But today, there was nothing. Everyone who she normally pals around with were busy and all of the engineering spaces she would normally lurk around and take over were all full with no one looking to move any time soon.

She sighed as she walked down the hall, staring at her feet while trying to think of things to do.  Maybe she could go bug Shiro again? She turned the corner to go to the bridge of the Atlas but instead of empty hallway, she ran straight into a solid body.

“Oh!  Pidge!  Are you okay my dear?”

The body’s arms grabbed her around her shoulders, holding her steady.

“I, uh…”  She looked up into violet eyes with pink pupils surrounded by bright orange hair.  “I’m fine. I’m just bored.”

“Bored you say?”  He twirled his mustache between his fingers.  “Well, I have nothing to do for the next little while, why don’t we do some bonding?”

Pidge smirked.  “I have some things in mind if you want to do them with me.  They’ll be fun for us, but shocking for others.”

“Ah!  Do you mean pranks?”

“You know what pranks are?”

“Of course, my girl!  Well, after Lance explained what they were I realized they’re the same as what we Alteans call  _ sevits _ , and I was the  _ King of Sevits _ .  So, who are we pranking first?”

Pidge’s eyes lit up with glee.  She had been on the wrong end of several pranks while they were on the castleship, and now that they were on the Atlas, she figured payback would be a beautiful thing.

“Well, first we need to figure out what we’ll do for each person.  The way I figure it, Lance needs to have something done with one of his beauty products.”

“We’re not injuring anyone, are we?”

“No, no.  I promise, but, how about we move into one of the unused meeting rooms to figure the rest of this out?”

“Lead the way, Number Five.”

 

It took the better part of the morning to plan everything out, and the first place they needed to go was the replicator unit.

“We need to make a bunch of things first, and with our powers combined we’ll create the best pranks,” Pidge said as they walked to the unit.  Luckily, no one was around to hear them plan.

“So this first one when put together’s going to just look like a box?”

“Yeah, and we’re going to put it outside of Allura and Romelle’s room, with a note that it’s for both of them and they have to open it together.  You’ll write the note so they don’t question it.”

“Gotchya.  What else?”

“We also need post-it notes.  Lots of them. Do you know when Shiro goes to bed tonight?”  Her fingers flew over the control panel, inputting the dimensions of everything she wanted made.

“He gets off shift around dinner time, so I suppose some time after that.  I think Keith’ll be able to distract him with sparring if we ask.”

“We’ll save that as a last resort, but it’s a nice backup.  Then, tomorrow, we’ll go visit my mom for the rest of what we need.”

“I can’t wait to see everyone’s faces.”

“Shoot, I forgot.  We need to stop by the kitchen tonight.  I’m gonna see if I can get some solid coconut oil.”

“Oh!  I know this one, this is Lance’s prank?”

“Yeah, so after I get it, I’ll need you to distract him while I switch out his hair mask with it.”

“Not a problem, Number Five.  You just need to let me know. Maybe you could give a signal like….” He straightened his back, bent his arms and let out a noise that was somewhere between a screech and a yodel.

Pidge stood shocked.  “Um, no, I’ll just give you a thumbs up, like this.”  She smiled as she gave him the gesture.

“Sounds great.”

“Looks like this stuff will be done in about an hour.  Plenty of time to get Lance’s stuff done.”

 

Lance, as Pidge thought, was easy to distract, especially since he was in the middle of training with Keith.  She snuck quickly into his room, emptying his hair mask into a plastic baggie and replacing it with the solid coconut oil.  She assumed it would just make his hair super oily. It was oil.

Coran kept watch, making sure no one would interrupt Pidge’s mischievousness.

After the quick in-and-out, they went to a supply closet, one that was far out of the way and very seldom used.  It was stocked full with post-it notes, hopefully enough for what they wanted to do. Coran had done some quick (finger) calculations and said they’d have more than enough with the crateful of sticky notes.

After they retrieved their loot from the replication unit, they decided to nap the afternoon away, knowing they’d be up deep into the simulated night.

After their nap and a late dinner, the two went into action.  Shiro was in a meeting with Iverson and Sam Holt and wasn’t planning on leaving the meeting room any time soon.

Pidge and Coran locked themselves into Shiro’s office with the post-it notes.

“Are we doing any pattern with the colors?  Or are we just working from the back corners over here to the door?” Of course, Coran had a good question.

“I think we’re just going to leave the colors to chance, finish each pack before taking another color.  But let’s do the walls first, then the furniture, and lastly the floor- if we have enough left.”

“Sounds like a plan.”  They started plastering the walls with sticky notes, patches of rainbow-colored paper covering every surface.  Coran talked about the  _ sevits  _ he pulled with his friends growing up, some of them done with King Alfor.  He chatted away and when he noticed Pidge being quiet, asked her about the pranks she had pulled over the years.  They chatted for hours, making sure there was no exposed surface left for Shiro to find. She bugged the door so it would send an alert to her datapad the next time it opened and left.

“That was fun.  What’s next?”

Pidge yawned and stretched.  “Well, I need to finish making the thing for Allura and Romelle, but that’s just putting the sides together and putting a trigger on it for when they open the box.  I’m gonna rig it so when it opens, it’ll record what happens and send the video to our datapads, so we won’t have to be there.”

“Mhm….  And what else?”

“That’s it for tonight.  Most of tomorrow will be in the kitchen.”

“Well then, if you’re okay with it, I’m going to take my leave for the night.  Don’t stay up too late.”

“Not a problem, the box shouldn’t take too long.  Don’t forget the note, okay?”   
“It shall be ready in the morning.”

“Good.  I’ll see you at 8 in front of their room.”

 

Pidge had barely hit her head against the pillow when her datapad went off.  Shiro had gone into his office. She pulled up the Atlas cameras and saw him standing in the doorway, Sam Holt close behind him.  Shiro was looking around in wonder when a broad smile spread across his face and he doubled over in laughter. It wasn’t the polite laughter either, this was a gut-busting laughter they hadn’t heard in a very long time.  She recorded the clip and sent it to Coran, then turned over and went back to sleep. It was late (which raised the question why the two of them were going to Shiro’s office), and she was ready to finish her pranks.

 

“Coran!  They’re at breakfast right now.  Did you make the note?”

“Right here Pidge,” said Coran, proffering up a small slip of paper.  They left it outside the door and made their way to the hydroponics bay.

“I asked Hunk this morning if he’d make some caramel sauce for us.  I said we’re making caramel apples. He’s so excited.”

“Poor thing.  At least hopefully he’ll see the humor in it.”

“I mean, probably after being mad at us for a while.  We are messing with food.”

The doors to the bay slid open and Colleen Holt greeted the pair.

“Pidge, I got your message.  I have your onions and a few of Bey Bey’s old costumes in here, also I threw in a bunch of clip in bows.  I hope that’ll help you in what you wanted today.”

Coran looked at Pidge, shocked.

“I asked my mom for help and she asked why, and I knew she wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t tell her the truth.  She’s got some lie detector mom-thing going so I can’t really lie to her. But she approves, so,” she held up the bag.  “Yay.”

“You two have fun.  And don’t get in too much trouble.”

“I promise, madame, you have nothing to worry about while your daughter is in my hands.”

“I have no doubts,” Colleen said.

They turned and walked out quickly, making their way to the kitchen.

“Did you see Shiro’s reaction to the sticky notes?” she asked quietly.

Coran’s mustache twitched before he smiled.  “I did. It was quite pleasing to see him laugh like that.”

The doors to the cafeteria opened and Lance called them over.

“I don’t know what happened, but my hair mask was so weird last night.  But FEEL MY HAIR!!” Lance was bouncing from foot to foot, trying hard not to shove his head into their faces.  Pidge looked up at Coran before slowly reaching to feel his hair.

Huh.  “It’s… Soft.”

“I know!  It’s normally never this soft!  I don’t know what happened but I’m in love.  Maybe it expired or something…”

“Uh, Lance, m’boy, it wasn’t expired.”  Coran said.

Lance stopped moving.  “What?”

“We replaced your hair mask with- what was it, solid coconut oil?”  Pidge nodded at his correct terminology. “It was supposed to be a prank.”

Lance looked between the pair standing in front of him and laughed.  “Well, it seems like it backfired, huh? Thanks though. This would probably be cheaper than my normal hair mask.  What did you guys do with it, anyway?”

Pidge coughed.  “It’s in my room in a plastic baggie.”

“Well you can keep it.  Thanks again.”

Pidge tried to suppress a smile, as did Coran, but he didn’t do as good of a job as she did.  She nudged Coran’s side and whispered, “We still have stuff to do.”

He nodded and they waved goodbye, trotting off to the kitchen.

Hunk was in the back corner.  He saw them marching towards him and smiled softly.  “I hope you two are ready for the best caramel apples ever!  I know you said you were getting the apples from your mom. And I got the rest here.  Look!” He flung his hands out to direct their gazes. “The best caramel sauce I’ve ever made.”

“Fantastic Hunk!”  said Pidge. “So we skewer an apple, dip them in the sauce, then place them on the tray?”

“That’s pretty much it.  Did your mom give you the apples?”

Pidge lifted her bag.  “Right here.”

“Alright.  Just don’t forget to wash them before you skewer them.  Don’t want any dirt in the caramel sauce. When you’re done, just call Johnson over and he’ll deal with the rest of this.  All you’ll have to do is put the apples in the fridge to firm the sauce up.”

“Number Two you’ve outdone yourself.  When they’re done, go ahead and grab one off the rack.  We don’t even have to be here.”

“Are you sure?”

Pidge nodded enthusiastically.  “Oh yeah. It’ll be fine, Hunk. We’re making them for the MFE pilots, but I have five apples, so there’s an extra.”  She smiled, trying to keep the smirk out of it. “It’s all yours.”

Hunk beamed.  “Thanks. I’ll be back in for lunch, so if you’re not back by then, I’ll snatch one afterward.”

He left, leaving Pidge and Coran to their own devices.  They followed Hunk’s directions, though they peeled the outsides of the onions as well so they didn’t get the papery outsides.  

When they were done, they set the caramel onions in the nearby fridge with a note saying “DO NOT TOUCH” in front of them.

They had decided to stop for lunch when their datapads beeped.

Sitting down next to Keith and Shiro, who were chatting about Shiro coming into his office plastered with sticky notes, they readied themselves for the video they hoped it would be.

At first the video was black, which made sense since they couldn’t see through the box.  There was chatter, asking what it could be and that Coran was so nice. There was suddenly light and once Allura and Romelle came into focus, they screamed.

Glitter was being flung from the top of the opened box in every direction, covering the women with fine, iridescent pink and purple glitter.

The screaming got the attention of Keith and Shiro, who looked over their neighbors’ shoulders to watch the devastation. 

Keith stifled a snicker.  “Oh god, they’re gonna be pissed,” he said.

Sure enough, a few minutes later the glitter-covered pair came in, sitting down on the other side of Keith and Shiro.  Coran sat ramrod straight and tried to ignore the daggers being stared at him.

“Coran, why did you leave a box that shot glitter at us outside of our door?” Allura demanded.

He started sweating.  “Well, Princess- you see- I..”

Pidge thought he’d suffered enough.  “It was a prank. I had him write the note so you wouldn’t get suspicious.”

“ _ You _ did this?” shouted Romelle.  “I’m sparkling like a  _ boshnir! _ ”

Everyone except the victims burst out laughing.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Pidge tried again.  “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Allura looked at Romelle.  “Well, you do look good covered in glitter,” she said looking the other Altean up and down, causing her to blush.  “Alright, I’ll forgive you both.”

Coran finally relaxed.  “Thank you Princess.”

“Oh, Coran, we’ve gotta go.”  Pidge reached down and picked up her bag.  “We’ve got one more thing to do today.”

“Don’t cause too much trouble,” Shiro called after them.  She’d tell him later that it was them that did the sticky notes in his office.  For now, he was happy and still a little giggly about it and she didn’t want to ruin that.

They left and went searching the ship, calling for Kosmo as they went.  Eventually they found him when they passed Keith’s room.  _ Should have known he was there, _ Pidge thought.

“Hey boy.  Wanna come get a nice treat with me and Coran?  Can you bring us to my room?”

They both touched Kosmo as he woofed and teleported them to Pidge’s workspace.

“Huh, I was thinking bedroom, but this works.”

She started digging through her bag as the massive wolf sat down and leaned into Coran’s leg.

“Okay, m’dear, what do you want me to do?”

“Distract him.”  She tossed Coran a jar of peanut butter and a spoon she snatched out of the kitchen.  “He loves peanut butter, just don’t let him leave until I’m done. Then we can send him to Keith, who should be in meetings with Kolivan for the rest of the afternoon.”

He started spoon feeding Kosmo, who stood and started wagging his tail.

“Okay, Kosmo, be a good boy and don’t move.”  She pulled out different clothes and materials out of her bag.  “This won’t hurt, but you may not be comfortable.”

Kosmo huffed and resumed eating the peanut butter presented to him.

“What do you have there?” Coran asked, scooping another spoonful of peanut butter.

“Bae Bae used to wear a lot of costumes before I left for the Garrison, and mom kept them all.”

“I knew you wanted to dress up Kosmo, but I didn’t know your mom would have kept all this, especially on the Atlas.”

“I know.  Mom’s a bit strange sometimes.”

Pidge started by clipping bows to the fur around Kosmo’s ears, then moved on to tying some tulle skirts together and wrapping them around Kosmo’s waist.  He was easily triple the size of Bae Bae, so when everything was tied together, it was only able to wrap twice around him. Pidge put on some pink socks and some more bows throughout his fur and a few ribbons hanging off his tail.

“Okay, give him the whole jar, I want his nose covered in it.”

Coran chuckled as he tipped the nearly empty jar over and Kosmo greedily stuck his nose in it.  It was only a few more moments before Kosmo was covered in peanut butter and lazily licking at the sides of his snout, trying to get it out of his fur.

“Kosmo, time to go see Keith.  Go on, go visit him.”

With that, Kosmo poofed away, leaving nothing but twinkles in his place.

“Well, four down, one to go?”  Coran mused.

“Technically.  We have to wait until lunch to see what kind of fuss Kosmo kicked up and to see what Hunk thinks about our ‘apples’.  Then we can get all the MFE pilots at the same time.”

“No longer bored?”

“No.  I’m having a blast.”

“Good.”  Coran’s datapad beeped at him.  “Hmm. I have to go. Seems like Shiro needs some help on the bridge.  I’ll see you at lunch?”

Pidge nodded.  “Yeah. I’m gonna go do some coding until then.  I think my favorite bench in engineering opened up.”

The rest of the morning passed quickly as they both went about their duties.  Coran spilled the beans to Shiro that his office was their doing after Shiro told everyone the tale of him discovering it to the entire bridge crew.

They met up for lunch, where Keith just sat down with his head between his hands.

“You okay?” Lance asked.

“I am, but something happened today.  I. I don’t know what happened.” He pounded his fists on the table.

“Start at the beginning my dude.”

“I was in a meeting with Kolivan and Krolia when Kosmo appeared.  But… someone did something to him.”

Lance’s eyes went wide.  “What do you mean someone did something to him?  What happened?”

Instead of answering, Keith took out his datapad, thumbing through until he got to his photo files.  There sitting proudly in the middle of the meeting room desk was Kosmo, all dolled up and face covered in peanut butter.  Lance guffawed and passed the datapad around the table to the other paladins, who all laughed equally as hard when they saw what had been done.  Shiro even had tears in his eyes.

“This is the best day ever,” he said.  “But who did this?”

Keith’s eyes darted to Pidge.  “You. I bet you did it.”

“Why me?” she said defensively.

“Because you were behind the Romelle and Allura one.”

“And behind my office,” Shiro added.

“YOU DID THAT?!” Keith practically yelled.

“You also tried pranking my hair care products last night, remember?”  Lance said.

Crap.  She was caught.

“Okay, yeah, it was me.  Coran helped with the peanut butter though.”

“And I’d do it again because i got to bond with Pidge,” Coran said.  “We told so many stories of growing up pranking people.”

Keith looked between the two and decided the fight wasn’t worth it.  “If you do it again, don’t do it when I have meetings, okay?”

“Will do,” Pidge said, with no intentions of listening.

They ate quietly and one by one, everyone started leaving for their afternoon meetings and trainings.

Pidge looked up at Hunk as he started to leave.  “Oh, did you ever get one of those apples?”   
He stopped and looked back at her.  “Uh, no. I forgot. I’ll get one in a little bit, though.”

She smiled sweetly at him.  “That’s fine, I’ll leave one for you in the fridge.”

“Cool.  I’ll see y’all later.”

Coran and Pidge left soon after, grabbing the remaining four apples and walking to the MFE pilots’ hanger bay.

They walked in and Rizavi jumped up.  “Oh my gosh, those look delicious!” she yelled as she bounded over.  “Did you make them for us?”

Coran twisted his mustache.  “Of course we did. Hunk made the caramel, of course.”

Kinkade and Leifsdottir strolled over.  “Hunk made these?” Kinkade asked.

“No, just the caramel,” Pidge said as she offered them each a goodie.  Griffin walked over and plucked the last one off the plate. “We did the rest.”

The MFE pilots looked at each other and shrugged.  “Down the hatch,” said Rizavi.

The each took a bite and froze, as Hunk came running in.

“Don’t eat them!  They’re ONIONS!”

Rizavi and Leifsdottir ran to find a rag or napkin to spit their bites into while Kinkade and Griffin swallowed and shuddered.

Coran stood smiling while Pidge fell to the floor laughing.

“I got back everyone who pranked me over the last two years,” she proclaimed as she finally regained control of her breathing.  “And Coran helped because he’s awesome like that.”

“Thank you, Number Five.”

“I’m sorry we crossed you, Pidge,” said Hunk.  “I should know by now not to do anything like this to you.”

The rest nodded.  “I underestimated the small paladin,” said Leifsdottir.

They left the hanger as everyone started chatting about how they had been pranking everyone the past two days.

Pidge looked at Coran and smiled.

“Thanks for doing all that with me.  I had a great time.”

“Anything for you, Pidge.  If you’re ever bored and want to prank again, let me know.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know what the glitter bomb looks like, go to [This youtube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo)  
> Come find me if you like my stuff and talk HCs and prompts with me. :)  
> [My Tumblr](http://punkinpinkglitter.tumblr.com/)  
> [My Twitter](http://twitter.com/PunkInGlitter/)  
> [My Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/PunkInPinkGlitter)


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